Posted by admin on June 26th, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement Parlor
You procrastinate, I procrastinate, all God’s children procrastinate.
In other words, it’s normal.
At the same time, there are some things about procrastination that are not normal.
I believe that procrastination has some magical powers that we need to address if we are going to be able to beat this monster.
Magical Power Number 1 - Procrastination can take a task that is something relatively small, and make it seem gigantic.
Magical Power Number 2 - Procrastination can take a task that is something that will take a relatively small amount of time to complete, and make it seem like it will take forever to get it done.
And it does not stop there. These two magical power combine to make the whole greater than the sum of the parts by continuing to grow and grow into something so humongous that you become overwhelmed and just quit.
Score another victory for procrastination.
Here’s a simple 3 step formula for beating procrastination at it’s own game.
Step 1 - You need to give up your belief that this is a dress rehearsal.
This is real life. We do not get to do it over again. Unlike the movies and TV, we do not have as many takes as we need to get it right.
Step 2 - The next time you are tempted to procrastinate, simply put it off! That’s right, procrastinate about proacrastinating. Call it reverse psychology, prescribing the symptom, or whatever you want, it works! And it makes you laugh while it is working, which makes you more likely to have fun while you are getting things done.
Step 3 - Whatever it is that you are wanting to get done, no matter what it is, no matter what happens, you must make sure that you take at least one step in the direction of completion before your head hits the pillow tonite!
In this way, you get a jump start on your goal, which pushes procrastination far far away.
By taking action right away you begin to build momentum. And momentum has some magical powers of its own. Momentum takes things that once seemed like huge boulders in your way, and turns them into small bumps that you quickly move past on the way to success.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
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Posted by admin on May 16th, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement Parlor
Responsibility means being accountable for what we think, say, and do. Personal responsibility involves working on our own character and skill development rather than blaming others for situations and circumstances. It means choosing to design a life that honors our values and purpose.
Here are twelve reflections on personal responsibility:
1. Personal responsibility begins from the inside and moves outward. We must begin by taking responsibility for our thoughts, choices, and reactions. Then we can be responsible for the circumstances we create in our world.
2. We have the divine gift of free will. We make conscious choices as spiritual living in a physical world. Conscious choice is a gift that carries great responsibility.
3. Every choice can benefit humanity or harm it. Even avoiding choices is a choice, and each choice will have consequences.
4. When you think something or someone else is responsible for your problems and their solutions, that exact thought is the first problem to solve.
5. People waste precious years while believing that there will be more time tomorrow than there is today. Today is the perfect day to accept and develop our gifts and talents.
6. A great philosophy of responsibility: When things are working, I am responsible… and when they need fixing, I am responsible.
7. Only our choices and actions today will bring the rainbow’s end with any gold it might contain.
8. The richest blessings follow those who follow the rules and honor the universal laws for abundant living: laws for wellness, success, relationships, prosperity, spirituality, and service to others.
9. When you follow the rules, life works. If you think you ever really get by with breaking the rules, you are only fooling yourself.
10. True personal independence is the freedom from reactionthe ability to choose actions and make choices that will influence positively the future of our lives and our world.
11. The Creator knows what it is we need to be doing and will provide us with plenty of chances to show up. However, we will not get an unlimited number of chances, and we cannot ever assume that we will have tomorrow.
12. Living serenely does not mean that we deny problems or avoid the responsibility for solving them. Just the oppositewe find the clarity and presence of mind to deal with the issues of daily living in positive constructive ways.
You cannot control all the circumstances in life; however, you can learn from them. You can choose to allow every circumstance to make you stronger, wiser, more knowledgeable, more skillful, and more loving.
You can control your ability to design your life and your philosophies. A philosophy of personal responsibility allows you to live from an inner core of integrity. It will bring a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.
© Copyright 2005 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Get the next issue by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com
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Posted by admin on May 8th, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement Parlor
You love each other but can’t manage to communicate without arguing, fighting and ending up exhausted, each one in his corner, trying to lick his wounds and thinking of how to protect one self against a new attack. And in spite of that…you love each other? How is this possible? Why do people hurt most those they love?
How come we can’t express our love? How come we are full of good intentions but when it comes to reality we find ourselves again shouting and blaming the other one. And then that monster of guilt jumps out of nowhere to our throat to strangle us once again.
How to stop this infernal behavior?
First let me explain why this happens.
We all need energy. We need energy to live and to survive. Energy comes in many forms : love, attention, interest, food, friendship, money, approval, recognition…
We all need this to feel good, to build our personality and to find our place in society.
But here it is : as long as we think this energy has to come from other human beings, we will get caught up in struggle. Because human energy is limited. We have to fight for it. Human energy doesn’t last. There isn’t enough of it. So we have to be the quickest, the smartest, the most beautiful one, to attract the attention from the other and to pull his energy.
If this doesn’t work, we try another strategy. We try to pull attention by negative behavior. Every child learns this very quickly in his early life : when he is playing quietly on the floor with his toys, mum goes on cooking dinner or talking with daddy. But as soon as the kid hurts his little sister or is playing “sick”, mums hurries to give attention to him. She shouts maybe, she’s angry or worried, but no matter, all this is attention for the child! He learns very quickly which behavior gives him the greatest amount of attention and energy. When his mother or father looks at him, even angry, it still is energy coming his way! When they shout at him, they give him energy. Negative energy, alright, but it is better than no energy at all.
When we grow up, and start to date, we discover a very interesting phenomenon : when we fall in love, we receive a lot of energy (read : attention, interest, time, love etc.) for free. The other person gives us freely and abundantly a whole bunch of energy. We don’t even have to ask for it, we don’t need to apply any strategy to pick this energy, it’s all for free! We let go of our mechanism to pull the energy of others towards us. We loosen up. We “fall” in love. We almost literally fly. We are high! Everything seems to have more colour, is more vivid, we feel lighter, life seems easy, everything goes by itself, we have the feeling we love everybody and everything, even our grunchy boss! Nothing can hurt us, we feel safe and boosted with energy. But this is his or her energy! We are flying on someone else’s energy, and human energy is limited!
And that is exactly the problem! This stream of free energy begins to slow down, because the other one goes back to his business and activities he had before. Why? The body is not able to handle this amount of adrenaline for a long period of time, they say… but the real reason is we need to learn to pull our energy from somewhere else, not from a human being but from the source of energy itself.
So our lover gives us less free energy than before. We were used to this energy-flow and now we have to do it again by ourselves! Free energy is so much easier! We don’t have to do any effort to get it! And now we are getting less of this free energy, we don’t want to let this happen. At this moment our old childhood-system of capturing energy is triggered because of the scarcity of energy (there is an alarm inside us that says : “Danger! Lack of energy!”) and the old mechanism to capture energy from others starts running in our head and in our behavior. The mechanism that worked when we were a child to get the energy of our parents, will be triggered by the lack of energy now. We do what we did as a child to get energy flowing our way.
We can do this by playing the victim (”Oh poor me, look at all that I do and nobody is grateful! Look how good I am and still life strikes me with disapproval, disease and misery! Oh oh oh!”). Or we get attention by being aggressive, shouting and trying to dominate the other one. A third mechanism is harassing the other one by asking too many questions and controlling him. A fourth system is playing silence, refusing contact, not to speak and not to react, so the other one will do whatever he can to get in contact with you again and this will give you his energy.
These systems will of course make the energy of the other one flowing your way. But what next? The other one is now low on energy and wants to get his energy back. So now his mechanism is triggered by his lack of energy. He will now use the system that assured him the energy of his parents when he was little, to get his energy back from you. He will either shout at you, either playing the poor one that didn’t deserve your treatment, either torture you with a bunch of questions, or refuse contact.
This explains why we hurt the ones we love. First reason is we want their energy, energy they gave once for free. We hurt our loved onces most because they gave us love and energy and attention for free in the beginning and now we have to do it on our own and we are angry and want get back to them. We think we are entitled to have their energy still for free and start our mechanism to get it. Second reason we hurt them most is because of convenience : they are always around, their energy is available so when we are low on energy we try to rip their energy off, and hurt them by doing that.
Stealing energy from another human being is hurting him.
What can we do about this? We should only be in contact with other people when we are sure to be already filled up with energy, so we won’t steal theirs. When we are full of energy, and conscious of what happens between people, we can give the other one energy instead of ripping him off. We should not meet each other when we are low on energy. It’s the responsibility of each and every person to generate energy by himself and not to depend on other people.
How to do that? By connecting to the energy that is always available. That is the energy of the Universe. The easiest way to connect to this energy is contemplate the beauty of a flower. You also can contemplate the beauty of an object or a person. You can listen to beautiful music, take a walk in nature, meditate, pray, dance, paint, read positive texts, work on your mission on earth, love your cat or dog, anything that gives you energy.
Make a list of every activity and behavior that increases your energy level. As soon as you feel you’re in a conflict with your partner, boss, child, parent or whoever, do something to get yourself together and raise your energy. Don’t say anything until your energy-level is again high enough to be able to send energy to the other one. By sending energy, you are sure not to steal energy from the other one. This is an act of love. If you are not able to get your energy level any higher, go to another place, do something for you and wait until your vibrations are high enough to meet the other one again.
The important thing in a relationship is not to make the other happy or to expect the other one to make you happy, but to make yourself happy and offer this happiness as a free gift to the other!
Loving another human being is giving him energy!
See the difference? Do you want to love your loved ones or steal their energy?
Written by Ineke Van Lint, psychologist. You are a unique, wonderful person! Find out why in the two free e-courses on www.theenthusiasm.com. Find your purpose and realize your goals. Be a success!
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Posted by admin on April 19th, 2008 — Posted in Self Improvement Parlor
This song by Tim McGraw has a great message for all of us! I went sky diving. I went rocky mountain climbing. I love deeper and I gave forgiveness that I had been denying. Someday I hope you get the chance to live as if you were dying. As if tomorrow was a gift, what did I do with it, and what did I do with it?
To live as if you were dying, are you getting the hang of it here, what this song is all about? If not let me try and inciting you just a bit. This is very different from the chapter I wrote early about six days left. This is actually a positive thing; I mean to live as if you were dying.
I mean if you lived everyday like you were dying, you would get all the things done that you wanted. You would want to prioritize the things that were most important to you. I mean we would get lean and mean with are time and we would get rid of all the fluff and concentrate your efforts on the stuff that meant the most to us.
I mean it is like a new philosophy, one were you are move alive than you used to be. The colors outside seem crisp and cleaner and love seems to be fun again, life is less stressful. I mean you can take a deep breath and try to be present in the NOW, the only time you are ever promised.
The only place you can experience God is in the now. That’s were he is and if you are thinking about what you did yesterday, you are missing the point. If you project your self in the future and you lose sight of the now, then you are not living as if you were dying. That is what being in the present means. Loving what you do and doing what you love. I mean I went sky diving.I went rocky mountain climbing. I rode a bull for 2.6 seconds and his name was ku-man-foo. So please live as if you were dying!
What if you live like most people? Wake up on Monday morning mad as hell because they have to go back to work. All they can think about is Friday, when they could get off and drink all weekend long. Now do not get me wrong, I used to be one of those people drunk all the time. It was the only way that I could make it through the week. I knew that Friday was drinking after work, until two in the morning and then of coarse drive home drunk.
Then at one time I asked is this all there is? I mean there has to be more. That is the day that I quite drinking and started living each day as if I was dying. What would I do that was different from the past? I had a quicker bounce in my step and I always had a smile on my face. I would look for opportunities to help others out.
I would go out of my way to do things for people who I did not even consider friends and that would be classified as loving thy neighbor. Yes, I felt different spiritually. I felt if I was talking to God and being more in tune with him. I even found myself praying. Something I did not even believe in to much at all and now I was doing it more and more, I did not even know it and the better I felt the more I talked to God.
Now do you want to know something funny? Now I can see myself in my minds eye, as being there or getting this or that and I find myself thanking God on things that I haven’t even got yet. I mean I put the movies in my mind to work and that is just a example of how I would live like I was dying.
I went sky diving. I went rocky mountain climbing. I was living as if I was dying! So can you if you will but open your mind to a new dimension and that you never knew existed and that is being present in the now. Living every day as though that it is your last, so go sky divining, go rocky mountain climbing and ride that bull for 2.6 seconds and most of all don’t let anyone steal your thunder. If it is what you want then go for it. You are now living as if you were dying!
Please know you can share this article with anyone who you feel it may help, please just leave the footer intact. Thanks 
With Much Love,
Arthur Buchanan
President/CEO
Out of Darkness & Into the Light
43 Oakwood Ave. Suite 1012
Huron Ohio, 44839
567-219-0994 (cell)
http://www.out-of-darkness.com
They are calling Arthur Buchanan’s methods of recovering from mental illness REVOLUTIONARY! (MEDICAL COLLEGE OF MICHIGAN) ‘Arthur Buchanan has given us a revolutionary blue print for recovery in these uncertain times, when Mental Illness at a all time high in the United States of America, yet if you follow this young mans methods, we assure you of positive results and I QUOTE ‘If these methods are followed precisely, their is no way you can’t see positive results with whatever illness you have’ Dr. Herbert Palos Detroit, Michigan’
Listen to Arthur Buchanan on the Mike Litman Show!
http://www.freesuccessaudios.com/Artlive.mp3
THIS LINK WORKS, LISTEN TODAY!
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