Respect Goes A Long, Long Way
Have you ever stopped for a moment to truly define what it
means to respect someone? As I recall my own life-altering
experiences, heart-breaking mistakes, and valuable
lessons, I know I’ve learned a lot about respect. Hopefully
you’ll agree with what I’m about to say: When you truly
respect someone, you don’t lie to them, cheat on them,
demean them, steal from them, speak badly about them, try
to control them, invade their privacy, ignore what’s important
to them, or want anything less for them than their most
glorious dreams.
At the heart of every successful relationship — business or
personal — lies respect. The truth also lies at the opposite
end, that the heart of every doomed relationship lies
disrespect. If you’re in a relationship in which you either
don’t respect the other person or aren’t respected by the
other person, I assure you this is a relationship you have to
learn from and leave, it’s that simple. And the sooner the
better, too, since I’m a big believer that the longer you
postpone the inevitable, the more time in this life you waste.
The more you think about it the more you’ll realize that
without respect, all those other important ingredients of a
good relationship such as love and trust don’t mean much,
or they can’t exist at all. The extraordinary thing about
respect is that when it exists, in its deepest and most
honest form, it eliminates a lot of the destructive behavior
that can tear apart a relationship and the people in it.
On a more personal note, if you happen to be in an intimate
relationship in which you’re being chronically disrespected,
please don’t fall into the trap of believing that if you hang
around long enough, putting up with any and all disrespect
from your partner, it will somehow prove to your partner how
much you care; and then someday, the depth of your love
finally realized, you’ll earn the respect you’ve been longing
for. Sadly, that’s not usually the outcome, for a simple,
logical reason: You never earn respect by tolerating
disrespect.
Other people’s ideals, beliefs or way of living can be
different from yours and what you know to be true for
yourself. So please do not mistake someone as
“disrespectful” just because they didn’t, simply put, live up to
your expectations. Also, people can act negatively possibly
due to matters of their own such as dealings with
insecurities, health factors, chemical imbalance, fear,
greed, anger and so on; these are challenges they could be
battling to reach their better Self; it’s not always about you —
so don’t take it personally. Nevertheless you still have to
decide if that’s a healthy situation to allow yourself to be a
part of; this is where you have to use your better judgement
(your innate intelligence otherwise known as your intuition).
You could use the old excuse that the other person “didn’t
mean to” disrespect you. Even if that was truly the case, do
you think it would be a wise decision to “stick around” and
be consumed in a negative situation? How will “sticking
around” serve your better purpose? You are ultimately the
decision-maker whether you want to “stick around” to be
either intentionally or unintentionally disrespected. Another
person’s behavior to disrespect you is truly your own
dilemma if you choose to remain and accept. If you know
your self worth, you wouldn’t leave any room for disrespect
in your life — from whichever perspective, and at whatever
caliber.
The fundamental ingredients of respect and trust are the
foundation for all successful relationships whether
acquaintance, family, lover, friend, or business; therefore the
approach to respect applies to all relationships. Difficult as
it is, there’s one thing you can do to earn respect from a
person who’s in the habit of disrespecting you. You have to
distance yourself from them, not just emotionally or
mentally, but physically. Don’t threaten to leave unless you
mean it, and when you mean it, do it. If you can’t do it for
yourself and your precious spirit that deserves respect, do it
for the other person, and the lesson they need to learn that
for every act of disrespect, there really is a price to pay.
Copyright © 2005 Penny Phang Enterprises, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Penny Phang is one of Canada’s nominated Top 40 Under 40 business leaders, recognized for her commitment to provide strategic business services with inspiring enthusiasm, creativity, and elegance. She is also well known as the Producer for Playboy Special Editions for Western Canada. In addition, she remains involved in full-service business communications with her founded Simplex Communications Group, and continues to write for
her monthly inspirational lifestyle column, Moments of Inspiration with Penny on http://www.pennyphang.com/
Miss Phang’s experiences are not limited to the business
world. She holds two black belts in Karate and was a
member of the West Coast Warriors National Karate Team.
She’s also a former Top 20 Special Editions Celebrity Model
whose inspiring personality has been transformed into
“Penny” the 3-D animated character for Electronic Arts’ Def
Jam Vendetta video game.
For further information please go to:
http://www.phangenterprises.com/
